Thursday, 12 February 2009

13 Opening Sentences/Paragraphs

13 Opening Sentences/Paragraphs

I'll be using my own work as well as that of two other writers whom I hold in high esteem, to show how important that first line or paragraph of a story is. Mine aren't quite as good as the final three examples, of course, so no need to point that out, or anything. (ouch!)

Let's jump on in, shall we?

1) Ypsilanti was nothing like this. (WIP - Alternate Rialto - Kimberly Menozzi)

2) The more you want something, the slower it is in arriving. I suppose this includes Italian trains. (Connections - Kimberly Menozzi)

3) Why is it so hard for a single mother to find a decent man to date? (WIP - Grand Emilia - Kimberly Menozzi)

4) Davide checked his watch and realized that he'd already glanced at it three times in the last minute. The seconds hand barely had enough time to make a full circuit before he looked once more. (WIP - A Milano - Kimberly Menozzi)

5) The sunrise was covered in a dull, heavy haze, but Eros knew it wouldn't matter. (WIP - Il Bagnino (The Lifeguard) - Kimberly Menozzi)

6) He had committed an unpardonable sin: He had muddied his best school uniform. As an additional blasphemy, he had dirtied his hair, as well. (Groundwork - Kimberly Hudson)

7) The plane touched down at LAX just after two a.m., and while the weary passengers prepared to disembark, the sound of luggage compartments being opened and Scott Chaver's poking and shaking roused David Wallis from a deep sleep. (Resolution for the Muse - Kimberly Hudson)

8) I was working at my makeshift desk in the maintenance hangar when Derek, the airport manager, brought the new guy in. (The Night Flight - Kimberly Hudson)

9) I nearly lost my footing as I stepped up onto the sidewalk, my boots skittering over the grainy surface of the salt melting the ice. (Return Flight - Kimberly Hudson)

10) It was the whispering that woke him. (opening chapter – A Marginal Life (Well-Lived) – Kimberly Hudson)

11) When I was very small, I saw a God. (Timeskipper – Stefano Benni)

12) I climbed into bed, and the stars had vanished. (Margherita Dolce Vita – Stefano Benni)

And finally, what I think might well be one of the most perfect opening sentences ever:

13) The man in black fled across the desert, and the gunslinger followed. (The Gunslinger – Stephen King)

Now, can you guess which ones of mine were early writing efforts, and which were more recent? Which of these would get you to read further? Let me know! I'm curious, y'all...

And no, I haven't forgotten.

Today, I have a new piece of eye candy, recommended to me by a friend on Facebook.

I thank her for this suggestion.

I think you will too.

Here ya go - a two-fer!:

Ignacio Figueras - Argentinian Polo Player, Model



Alice Audrey said...

I have such a hard time with opening lines. I can never seem to get them right.

Stephanie Adkins said...

I agree with Alice. I have a hard time with opening lines too. These are great. :) Happy Thursday!

Adelle said...

Great opening lines. After spending way too much time trying to perfect my opening lines, I've given in to making my first page outstanding. LOL Happy Valentine Day!

Jennifer McKenzie said...

I'm with Alice. I never get mine right either.
Great TT, Ms. Menozzi.

Paige Tyler said...

Very cool! Opening lines can be so tricky! Love the pics, too! LOL!


My TT is at

Heather said...

Nice opening lines - I especially liked 2 and 10.

Shelley Munro said...

I tend to fiddle with opening lines for ages. They're hard to get right but several of yours intrigued me.

Inez Kelley said...

Opening lines are so hard!! And the mancandy? Niiiiiice

Anonymous said...

I like all of them, but I thought your first one was most effective. That short sentence tapped into my curiosity right away.

Janice said...

Happy TT, and happy V-day.