Looking back now, I can see how many things had to come together in some special way to align themselves 'just so' to guide me along my life in the direction I've gone so far. All the loves, the interests, the coincidences and even the long periods of doubt and self-loathing which had to come to pass before I could be where I am today.
Crikey, did it have to be so difficult, though? I suppose, in the end, the answer is inevitably and undeniably 'yes!'
Without the pain, the confusion and the disappointments, I wouldn't be able to appreciate what I have now, and would have lacked the maturity to recognize it for what it was: a true miracle in my life.
I shudder if I allow myself to consider that I could have missed this chance by clinging to habit and the comfort of living in the past.
So long ago, a dear friend told me to appreciate the pain that had gone before – after all, he reasoned, it was what made me who I was in that moment, and didn't I think I was someone special?
I grudgingly acknowledged that I reckoned I was, maybe...
It was hard to remember that as time went on. My teenage years ended, I stepped out into the world and allowed my insecurities to guide my hand along to make so many bad choices, I could never count them all.
But for all the pain and uncertainty, were those choices so bad after all? They got me here, in the end.
Perhaps the time has come to quit regarding these events as mistakes or horrible errors. Mis-steps, perhaps. Stumbles. But not mistakes.
'Cause I am someone special, after all.
The events of the last few years couldn't have happened if I hadn't done the following: